Is Consistency Always Right?

Once, when someone shared a story hoping for my empathy, I found myself nodding along without truly understanding or empathizing with them.

 

Later, on my way home, I thought, "Why am I so indecisive?" Being indecisive ultimately means lacking consistency, and I started to feel that not being consistent equates to bad behavior. This led me to reproach myself for a while. I began to wonder, what is my value system? The term 'Value System' sounds quite grand and seems to imply something significant, so perhaps that's why I couldn't come up with a clear answer. Even as I was approaching thirty, I felt frustrated and upset by thoughts about why I knew so little about myself despite getting closer to that milestone.

I then confided in my husband about this, and he said to me: 

 

Your value system changes depending on who you meet and what environments you experience. It doesn't develop automatically from birth, and even if it did, if you were to maintain the same value system from birth until death, wouldn't that be stubbornness?
So, from now on, let's slowly discover what your value system might be together.

 

 

After hearing this, I felt much lighter.

Suddenly, the word [flexibility] came to mind. Thinking about it, in real life (especially at work), I've had experiences where people with flexible thinking were much better at communication.

"Right, it's not that I'm indecisive and inconsistent, but that I can be a flexible person," I thought.

 

The Merry-Go-Round of Life (?)

Of course, there are times when maintaining a consistent stance without bending your own arguments looks admirable. Especially, when the media portrays a master of a certain field as someone who walks their own path without compromising with the world, most people have seen it depicted as something admirable. However, I believe these individuals ultimately achieved success through their stubbornness, and it was only after attaining these successful results that they began to focus on the process. We don't view flexible people as cunning or incapable of success. At least, that’s how I see it. Is this how my value system is evolving?

*Of course, let's exclude moralistic notions here. lol